he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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