A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
my phone needs a breathalizer
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
