No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
