If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
