so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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