Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
