Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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