the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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