I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
