You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
All the doctor said was why
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
