I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
