You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
