I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
