sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
