If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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