What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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