They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
