i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
It's never too late to be topless.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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