I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
