dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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