somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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