I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
