I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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