so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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