I just threw up on my dentist
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
We left the knife in your bed.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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