Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
