How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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