i just wanna soil my oats bro
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
third nipple confirmed
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
