Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
