We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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