people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
