I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
