Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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