remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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