Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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