You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
