Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
