I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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