she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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