she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
