Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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