Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
