How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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