I'd wear matching sweaters with you
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
