Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
