that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
