I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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