Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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