you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
