Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
